three months and losing it

So my beautiful beautiful girl is three months and 6 days. I know I always mention I can't believe how big she is but seriously its crazy. I mean she is 13 lbs and 24 inches long that's more than doubled her size. She is getting more and more beautiful and we are starting to see more of her personality. She is starting to laugh and its the sweetest sound ever. She has gotten more hair and her eyes are still blue I am starting to think they will stay but who knows only time will tell. She has really bad cradle cap and to top it off she has eczema. So my poor girl is itchy a lot. We are trying baby oil and eczema cream and so far it works ok but it hasn't cleared it.

 So my last blog I mentioned that she was sleeping up to 13 hours.... well that went down the drain lol she is waking up 2-3 times a night which isn't so bad because Justin is really helping out at night so we each wake up at least once at night. She is taking more naps during the day so that makes up for the nights.

So our first Halloween did not go as I had planned. Justin and Olivia were both sick and it was super cold that day. SO we stayed home and dressed up livs and tried to take pics but she wasn't having it lol she was screaming her head off for TWO HOURS so this Halloween was a fail lol but I guess thats what happens with kids you can never plan to much in advance.

 The only picture we got of her not crying

So as for mommy, I am doing really good! My anxiety medication is working really great. I feel really good lately. My weight loss journey on the other hand took a break for a month. Ugh I was super disappointed when I gained SEVEN LBS! So my butt got back into things a week ago and so far 1 lb lost. I am so determined to get this weight off. I want to keep up with livs and be here for her for a long time! I also want to feel good about myself. I don't want to be the fat girl anymore or the cute girl I want to be beautiful and sexy for my husband even though he claims he likes me either way. So here I go on this journey this new lifestyle change. I will keep you all posted and show you all pics of my progress.

two months postpartum! it gets better

It has been two months and a week and a half since livs was born. Gosh it seems like yesterday that I was holding my livs for the first time. Now she is getting bigger  and even more beautiful with each day. She is smiling so much, she loves it when I kiss her feet and her little hands she just starts smiling so much its agh the best thing in the world! She is finally sleeping through the night! woohooo and not just sleeping through the night but sleeping 11 hours! Yes my friends my beautiful girl loves her sleep like her mama lol. She is also looking more like me, and she still has those big beautiful blue eyes. She is such a sweet girl she loves to cuddle and loves it when I give her kisses and talk to her.

So I finally got on medication I have been on it for almost a month and I am so thankful for it! I got to leave dayton for the first time last week. We went to ikea and had an awesome time. It felt so amazing to get out again and enjoy going out of town. We also went shopping to Cincinnati all day yesterday it was sooo much fun. I am also feeling so much happier these days. I still have some anxiety but its getting so much better. I know that I had a really rough time at the beginning and at times I was so scared that I wouldn't get through it, and if there are any other mamas going through postpartum depression or anxiety after birth there is no shame in getting on medication I know I really didn't want to but I am so thankful that I did I am able to enjoy spending time with my family and enjoy going out and doing the things I use to. I am completely healed up from the c section and working out again! We got a treadmill so I try to get on it every morning. I am also getting some zumba videos so I am so excited about that. I have lost all the weight and some. Its a challenge but I want to get healthy and I don't want to pass down or bad eating habits to Olivia. So overall we are doing really good lately!

We also re did Olivias nursery because I really wanted a couch to have so we could hang out in her nursery more, and when people come out to visit the couch pulls out into a bed! So thats super awesome. I will post pics in my next blog!

one month old! the good and the bad

So it has been one whole month since Olivia was born. She is doing amazing! She is such an awesome little girl. She was already one pound heavier one week after she was born, and she has gotten bigger since then which is great, she loves to eat. She is eating only formula and its working out really great. She is sleeping a lot more through the night and she only wakes up twice at night - maybe three times - and for the most part  falls right asleep after she eats and gets a diaper change. She loves tummy time, and loves to be held. She is starting to smile a lot, and its the best thing in the world.

I am still recovering  from my c-section. I had a superficial infection on my incision which has made recovery a lot slower. I do feel a lot better than the first two weeks! I am finally able to do chores and walk and not be in pain, but when I over do it, it still hurts. I have been struggling a lot with my anxiety for the past week. I think the lack of sleep and all the changes have really triggered my anxiety and it has been a rough week. I think that therapy has been great  but it's time to maybe get on some medication. I feel super sad that I couldn't fight this without medication, but at this point its more important to  feel better so that I can be the best mom I can be for Olivia. Besides my anxiety this week, motherhood is getting easier. I won't sugar coat it, it was really rough the first two weeks. I was in tears everyday, I felt like a horrible person that I wasn't feeling all those happy emotions that people have when they have their babies. I think having the c-section has made it a lot harder. These past two weeks have been so much better. I love spending time with Olivia, she melts my heart, and she just cracks me up with all her cute face expressions. Getting up at night is a lot easier, and I actually don't mind it. Life with our new addition is amazing, its getting a lot easier and I can't wait for what is ahead of us!

 This is my one month post partum body. I am back to my post baby weight but I def want to loose more weight and get healthier.

labor and delivery story

So lets start with our last doctors appointment which was Thursday August 9th. We had a non stress test that day and I  asked if they were able to do a membrane sweep and FINALLY they agreed to it! And in case your wondering no it does not hurt one bit. So after that appointment I felt really crampy. So that night I began to see bloody show and  I was so excited I was so sure I was going to go into labor that night. I didn't go into labour lol and that whole morning I spent the day in bed crying afraid of Tuesdays induction. Well   I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up I was having some cramps but they were not painful at all.  My sister in law came and brought Justin and I dinner and I ate and after that my cramps stopped. A few hours later I got on my yoga ball and bounced on it for maybe thirty minutes and my cramps started up again and I remember telling Justin "This always happens when  I'm on the ball and as soon as i get off of it they stop." So  I finally got tired and went to bed. I remember having some strong pains but I would wake up and think I was dreaming lol. So Justin finally went to bed and about two am I was in quite a bit of pain. So I woke Justin up and had him time my contractions and they were coming at about 10-15 apart. Within two hours they went from 10-15 min apart to 4-6 min apart. Finally at about five we started to get things ready I straightened my hair lol and put on some make-up in the midst of all the pain. I know call me crazy but i just wanted my daughter to be impressed or something I really don't know what I was thinking at the time. By seven am I couldn't handle the contractions I was crying so Justin suggested I take a bath and I did and let me tell you the pain felt almost gone in the water it was AMAZING! At eight  we finally headed to the hospital after talking to my midwife and her suggesting we head over.

We got to the hospital at about nine am. We were admitted by 9:30 and I was four cm dilated so I requested to have the epidural right away since I had been in pain for about 8 hours and I did not want to experience the really strong contractions. At about 11 am I got the epidural and the only part that hurt was when they numb you with the local anaesthesia but it was bearable. When my midwife Kat ( who is the most amazing lady ever!) came to check me I was at almost at six cm dilated so she broke my water. This was at about three a clock. So I  stayed at a six for almost 10 hours. Late at night I started dilating little by little by seven am I was at a nine. I thought in a few hours I would have Olivia but I was wrong it took me till ten to get to ten cm. I started practice pushing at 10:30am and pushed until about 2pm. At 2 the doctor came in and said he wanted to try the vacuum because Olivia's head was turned a certain way that my pushing and the contractions weren't getting her past that spot. So they got the vacuum and I pushed for about 30 min. While they were tugging with  the vacuum it came off and blood went everywhere. I looked at Justin's face and he looked like he was about to cry. I could tell he was really scared for the both of us. I was so determined though to get her out without a c-section that I kept telling them to keep going with other things. So they tried the forceps  and that didn't work so finally they decided a c-section was the only option at that point. I was so devasted I was crying uncontrollably but Justin and my amazing nurse and midwife kept reasurring me it was the best thing and I would be fine.

I went into the o.r. and Justin had to leave me to get his scrubs on and I was freaking out I started having a panic attack and I was just a mess. They numbed me even more and I hated the feeling of being that numb. Finally Justin came in and the surgery began. I just remember being super cold and asking for blankets. Before I knew it they announced she was coming out and I would feel a lot of pressure. Justin kept saying I see her and they yelled out she was out and not to freak out because she wasn't crying she had just swallowed some meconium. They rushed her out I didn't even get to see her.I was panicking that something was wrong and they wouldn't tell me so I kept asking everyone " Are u almost done?" I was so anxious to see her and be done. Finally they came in with her and I saw her and she was just perfect I started to cry it was such an amazing moment.  Going into the recovery room I was a mess I was shaking like crazy I was so cold and I coudln't get my body to stop shaking. But I was just watching them take care of Olivia because she was having some trouble breathing and I was so worried. Within a few hours she started breathing a bit better and I was finally able to hold her!  It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but although it was hard I love my labour and delivery journey I had amazing people to help me through it and in the end Olivia came out healthy and so did I!

So my recovery has been kind of rough it has not been easy at all! I have been in quite a bit of pain and had to go into the er  because my incision has had some drainage and was in a ton of pain.  I am super tired and super emotional. It's been a rough couple of weeks and I am terrified of when Justin has to go back to work.  But I am trying to let God guide me through everyday and I am learning to really  trust in him. But although I am struggling I wouldn't trade my beautiful family for anything I know that eventually it will get easier. And a big shout out to my amazing husband who has been so supportive and so amazing through this whole journey I love you so much you are honestly the most amazing husband and best friend a girl could have. I love you I love you I love you!

shes here!

 In case you haven't heard SHES HERE! Olivia Madison Rogers was born Sunday August 12th at 2:41pm weighing 6 lbs 10 ounces, via c section and oh boy was it a rough labor and delivery! I will be posting a labor and delivery blog on my side of the story and I thought it would be cool to include dad's experience and point of view of the whole experience.

We have been home for four days now and it has been so amazing. The first day was really difficult though. I had been breast feeding since she was born but the moment we got home we noticed she was hungry all the time. She would stop eating and two minutes later she would want to eat (not to mention she hadn't had a bowel movement all day) so we started to get a little concerned. Finally at midnight we realized something wasn't right and we realized I wasn't producing anything. So this whole time my poor girl hadn't eaten all day. I felt like a total failure I had a total break down because I really wanted to breast feed. We made the decision to start formula and ever since she has been a super happy baby. She sleeps a lot! We are so blessed for that lol mommy and daddy def love nap time. Although my plans haven't gone according to plan, God has showed me that he has better plans for me and I need to trust in him more. I also just want to thank all my family and friends for the support and prayers. Also a shout out to my mother in law and Bob who have been spoiling us through this whole thing we appreciate everything you have done and we love you so much!


Anyway  labor and delivery blog to come soon i hope!

induction date!

So we had another doctors appointment. We did another stress test and this time Olivia was not moving so much so we were only hooked up for 20 min. After that one of the midwives asked if we wanted to get induced today but we were kind of caught of guard we decided to wait until next week. So our official induction date is Tuesday night! I am feeling super excited and nervous and anxious and kind of relieved that we finally know when she will be here! I also had my membrane sweep today and I am hoping and praying that this will do something to go into labor naturally but if not at least Tuesday we know we will get things going. Please keep us in your prayers, I will continue to keep you all undated!

non stress test, induction

So I am updating again since we had a doctors appointment today. We went in to take the non stress test which is basically they monitor baby' heart when she moves as well as how she reacts to contractions. She was one funny little girl. They had a hard time getting a spot on my stomach that would monitor the heart beat  every time they would find it Olivia would move and this went on for about two hours ( this test should only take about 20min- 1 hour)! She was so active all the nurses were cracking up. So everything came out good, no new changes with me I am still dilated two cm and about 80% effaced. My doctor doesn't think I'll have to be induced he think I am going to go into labor soon and I surely hope he is right, but if not probably next Wednesday I am going to be induced. So I guess at least I know by next Friday we will have little Olivia here and that is so exciting. I am feeling anxious and nervous and a bit scared but happy that it will all be done soon and our little girl will be here!

no baby yet womp womp

40 weeks and 4 days and still no baby L. 

This doctors appointment I was dilated to a 2 and baby is super low. I have a non stress test on Monday I still have hopes I won’t make it to that appointment but seeing that it is Sunday already I highly doubt I will go into labor womp womp.

Friday we did go for a super long walk and I lost my mucus plug. I had thought I lost my mucus plug before but I def lost it this time there was no denying it lol. So I hope that means labor is approaching.

symptoms:

• emotional
• swollen fingers and feet
• some cramping
• lots of braxton hick

cravings:

• sparkling water
• salads
• desserts 

39 weeks, disappointed

So no baby yet :-(. So we went to our doctors appointment today excited to get my membrane sweep, and unfortunately my cervix is still to high up so I wasn't able to do it. I def walked out feeling bummed out I never wanted to get induced, but if baby isn't out in a week then we might have to start talking about getting induced in a couple of weeks. I am really scared about getting induced so I hope in the next week something will happen to get things going. Please pray for us guys I know getting induced isn't the worst thing but just wanted things to happen naturally.


symptoms

• fingers still hurt
• some swelling in my hands
• tired
• emotional

cravings

• snickers ice cream

So ready!

This week I am38 weeks pregnant and starting to get over it ugh. Lots of changes my belly dropped yesterday and I lost my mucus plug! On Monday night I woke up with horrible  pains in my stomach and I thought it was something I ate except they would come and go and thats when I realized they were contractions, they were lasting about a minute long and about five to ten minutes apart, they lasted three hours and eventually they went away. So it was our first false alarm, hopefully next time I feel contractions I will actually go into labor!

We had a doctors appointment today and I was checked to see if I was dilated more and I am one cm dilated and about 80% effaced. I was hoping I would be more dilated but I guess its just time to start doing all those crazy things to get myself induced. I  am getting a membrane sweep next week but again I am hoping to go into labor sooner than that lol.

 I have been super tired lately, I have to take naps throughout the day other wise I get super cranky and I am just not a happy camper. I have been crampy a lot, and have been having a lot of braxton hicks as well. I also was super sick this past week I couldn't even get out of bed it was horrible having morning sickness this far along but I am so happy it passed. 

cravings this week are pretty much just ginger ale and fries.

So hopefully this will be my last pregnant entry but either way I will keep u guys updated, also I am thinking of having Justin update you all during labor through facebook, I know a lot of family and friends want to be posted and obviously Justin or myself won't be able to call everyone during labor so we will keep u updated via facebook. Pray for us guys! 

36 weeks, baby shower, nursery!

36 weeks and five days! Time is flying, and I am starting to feel like I wish I had more time to get ready, but ready or not....


At our last doctors appointment I got the strep b and iron test, and everything came out good! I also had my first internal exam and I am almost one cm dilated so I was pretty excited to find out that my body is getting ready, I am hoping I don't have to be induced.

My mother in law and grandmother in law hosted my baby shower a couple of weeks ago and it was so beautiful and fun! I had a blast hanging out with my in law family. We got more than I could have asked for. Olivia is going to be very loved and spoiled! 

I also had my maternity pictures taken this week and I wasn't feeling to great but I am glad we got some good pictures!


Justin and I finished the nursery! Well I am sure I will keep adding things until she is born but for the most part its done lol.

symptoms

• i am having a lot more braxton hicks 
• some mild contractions
• a lot of nausea lately 
• stomach aches
• pelvic and pubic bone pain 
• thighs hurt
• my fingers are super sore 

cravings

• cheese
• pasta
• tilapia
• fruit

34 weeks

 Oh did I get big! I def look like I am ready to pop and I still have about a month and a half to go. I can't imagine getting any bigger. 

Our last doctors appointment everything went well. Olivia is head down still. She is measuring on point which is great! No big baby here!


This week justin and I bought our car seat and our gorgeous stroller! I am obsessed with our stroller well Olivia's stroller. I have been wanting a bugaboo since I found out we were pregnant but since we aren't rolling in dough we knew it wouldn't be possible so we looked for strollers that resembled it and thankfully found one!

  I am so excited tomorrow is our baby shower, all thanks to my grandmother in law and mother in law! I got to go pick out the cake with my grandmother in law last week and I have to say its super adorable. We got to taste some treats while we were at the bakery and they were AMAZING!I am so excited to taste all the delicious treats at the shower! So I feel def be blogging about the shower and posting pics of the evening and some of the stuff I got.


Olivias room is almost done but not quite there yet. I keep putting it off because a lot of the stuff we
have to do involve us going to the store to buy things, and being this pregnant I HATE going anywhere lol. But its crunch time so we def have to get on things so my goal is next time I post I will have nursery pics up!


Cravings:

smoothies

croutons

salads

sushi

sweets



symptoms:

round ligament

pelvic pain

pubic bone hurts so bad

my back

some shortness of breath

8 months almost there!

8 month update! Holy cow time has gone so fast. That means  in about  5-9 weeks we will be having our baby! I am starting to panic a bit because there is so much to do. I have been neglecting the nursery for a while so I still have quite a few things to do in her room.  I also need to deep clean our house to make sure its in tip top shape for when the baby is here and so we don't have to fuss with cleaning when everyone starts visiting. So I will probably start working out that next week lol.

Our doctors appointment was pretty uneventful. Everything is going well with that.  Olivia is doing great, her heart beat was at 135. I have gained another two pounds.  So yea not much to tell about that.

This week we went to Justin's cousins wedding and it was so beautiful! It was also the first wedding I have ever gone to so I was super excited to go.  I have to say everything was just like a fairy tale the bride looked beautiful and the bridesmaids where gorgeous! The food was amazing, although I couldn't eat much because I was having heart burn and she was up in my ribs and it was making it hard to breath :-(.  Wish i could have taken some home  haha such a fatty. We got to spend time with Justin's family from out of town and I have to say they are all super sweet and I love them all! I feel super blessed to have an awesome in law family! It was also nice to see Justin let loose that night and we had a lot of fun together, I have to say my husband is one awesome dancer lol especially when he has a few drinks haha love u bear!

symptoms:

• heart burn
• round ligament pain
• pelvic pain
• back pain
• some nausea
• and i think i had my first braxton hick at the wedding

cravings

• subway
• burritos de carne asada
• chinese food
• japanese food
• fried chicken (thanks to the wedding)
• mashed potatoes and gravy
• pistachio ice cream
• salads
• apples with tajin
• banana strawberry smoothies
• soy chi lattes
• pasta

Things i will miss about pregnancy:

• baby kicks
• justin buying whatever i want to eat lol
• naps

Oh and ive been asked about my registry and i am registered at babies r us under justin or lulu rogers.

30 weeks

Here we are week 30! So we went to our doctors appointment last week and all went well. Baby is head down  already which is awesome! I was having some discomfort on my right rib and the doctors pressed on it to see what was going on and it ended up being Olivia's little butt pressing on my ribs lol.  Her heart beat was at 165 which is great, and I have gained a totall of 11 lbs so far.  She has gotten so much bigger its awesome when  I  feel her move now you can feel little body parts when she presses up against my stomach its honestly the best feeling in the world. One of the few things I will miss about being pregnant lol.

So I finally got the little dresses my mom sent me from Mexico and they are soo freaking cute. I can't wait until Olivia is big enough to fit in them.

I am starting to get into that super uncomfortable phase in the pregnancy. I thought I got up to pee a lot before haha nope I am up every hour at night and I can't get comfy in bed anymore baby is pushing up on my ribs and makes it hard to breath laying down so I now have to sit in bed and sleep that way. My pelvic pain is horrible it lasts all day now and it hurts so much to walk. Also although I love to feel my little Olivia kick it hurts so bad when she puts a bunch of pressure on my ribs they feel like they might break. My energy is down this week I feel super tired and I am getting grumpy a lot lately lol. The good thing is I have about nine more weeks to go so at least I don't have to go through all the pain much longer.


I am super homesick lately. I miss California so much. I miss my family and my friends so much. It sucks not having my family and friends here to enjoy this pregnancy with me. It has def been the hardest thing about this pregnancy.  But in two years (hopefully sooner) we are coming back so that always keeps me motivated and not to sad, and  my mom and a few friends and family are coming to visit once Olivia is here!


Justin is starting school in the summer which is great because hes cutting hours at work which means more time with him! That will be great to have him here more during my last few weeks being pregnant. I def have a fear of going into labor and him being at school but keeping my fingers crossed hes here when that happens. We are going shopping next week for the big things we still need like her car seat and stroller and my diaper bag. So pretty excited.  Oh yea and I finally went on my first shopping spree for maternity clothing because my pants were no longer fitting and I had no summer dresses or tops so I got a few things and I am super excited to wear my new clothing!

only 12 weeks left! (hopefully)

hey guys! So here we are in our last trimester! super excited!I deffinetely feel more ready than I did just a few weeks ago. I think a variation of things have helped me feel more prepared. The hospital tour made it more real and I really love the hospital it doesn't feel to much like a hospital which is great because I HATE HOSPITALS! I was scared that going on the tour would make it a lot more scary and stressful but it did the opposite! Prayer and spending time with God have made me more prepared and more secure in my fears about birthing and parenting our little baby.

So as far as symptoms I have actually been feeling pretty darn good. My back pains have become a bit better stretching and taking naps throughout the day have helped so much. The only real constant pain is my pelvic bones when I wake up hurt pretty bad but once I start moving around and doing my everyday things it stops. Nausea is pretty much gone for the most part unless I skip meals then i feel super sick. I have found ways to get comfortable so I can get sleep I think also the fact that I go to bed so tired makes me sleep most of the night, so my trick to getting comfy is I put a pillow behind me for support another soft pillow under my belly and another pillow between my legs folded, and like I said on my last blog the pregnancy pillow whatever they are called are a waste of money I think just buying a simple body pillow would work just as well and save you about fifty dollars. One new symptom is I'am starting to get some mild heart burn but so far its not bad so keeping my fingers crossed it doesn't get worse. My energy has been more up as well which is great. My anxiety has been pretty good lately as well. So overall Mama is feeling good.


Over the past two weeks Justin and I went on some crazy baby clothing shopping sprees lol we have almost filled up all her closet . She is going to be one stylish baby. My mom also just went to Mexico and is sending  some outfits she got Olivia so I am so excited to see them. I will post pics as soon as they come in.  Also my father in law gave us a rocking chair that my mother in law got when she was pregnant with Justin so it def has sentimental value. Olivia's room is pretty much done it just needs curtains and a few more things but for the most part its almost done. I will post pics once the room is done.

Justin and I stoped doing the whole date night thing for a while, but for the past few weeks we have  started our date nights and it has been so awesome to have those moments with him. I have to say that throughout this whole pregnancy Justin has been so amazing! He indulges my every craving lol goes on late night food runs for me. Gives me massages every night and has never complained about any of it. Did I mention that he does laundry, and cooks at least three times a week and I have to say he is a really good cook. Gosh I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband.

So that is my updates. I will keep you all updated I have a doctors appointment on Monday and I will let you all know how that goes!