one month old! the good and the bad

So it has been one whole month since Olivia was born. She is doing amazing! She is such an awesome little girl. She was already one pound heavier one week after she was born, and she has gotten bigger since then which is great, she loves to eat. She is eating only formula and its working out really great. She is sleeping a lot more through the night and she only wakes up twice at night - maybe three times - and for the most part  falls right asleep after she eats and gets a diaper change. She loves tummy time, and loves to be held. She is starting to smile a lot, and its the best thing in the world.

I am still recovering  from my c-section. I had a superficial infection on my incision which has made recovery a lot slower. I do feel a lot better than the first two weeks! I am finally able to do chores and walk and not be in pain, but when I over do it, it still hurts. I have been struggling a lot with my anxiety for the past week. I think the lack of sleep and all the changes have really triggered my anxiety and it has been a rough week. I think that therapy has been great  but it's time to maybe get on some medication. I feel super sad that I couldn't fight this without medication, but at this point its more important to  feel better so that I can be the best mom I can be for Olivia. Besides my anxiety this week, motherhood is getting easier. I won't sugar coat it, it was really rough the first two weeks. I was in tears everyday, I felt like a horrible person that I wasn't feeling all those happy emotions that people have when they have their babies. I think having the c-section has made it a lot harder. These past two weeks have been so much better. I love spending time with Olivia, she melts my heart, and she just cracks me up with all her cute face expressions. Getting up at night is a lot easier, and I actually don't mind it. Life with our new addition is amazing, its getting a lot easier and I can't wait for what is ahead of us!

 This is my one month post partum body. I am back to my post baby weight but I def want to loose more weight and get healthier.